Reincarnation — An Endless Wait

We want to return, again and again want to get back those orange sun-soaked, bright days. We want to return to that time, when every morning was differently beautiful than the other day. There was a dusty smell of books, medicines and oldness coming from old cupboards, the sudden thrilling when rubbing hand on rough wall, sun-ray's crisscross playing in those lazy afternoons. Perhaps we suddenly woke up on an afta'noon and saw the green bushes swaying under slate-black clouds--- yes! That surprise was also there! There was the childhood Jesus's idle, with mother Mary and father Joseph; when clouds roar in the sky, we want to meet with them!

Actually, this is a mixed feeling you know, our sorrows, curiosities, first experiences-- all are there. We can surely recall the red ball lilies in the soggy courtyard corner, we first realize that the green-wooden windows look completely different in a scorching sunny day and an overcast day, we first read China Fairy Tales, the folklores we've heard in load-shedding; and when we said "goodbye" forever to our 'friends' like the old-maid plant on the cornice, the cine-magazines and stickers we collected---

All, a-l-l are hidden in our mind, probably in a secret chamber! Together they create somewhat a dense fog, a foggy feeling. We want to enter in that fog, want to rewind the twinklings of time in our memory, want to change the sorrows and get back the happy moments once again, again and again.

But you know, it's not possible. Time-wheel stops us a few steps before, we can't get the exact same moments again, we just can't!

Maybe for that reason, we start to believe in rebirth. We keep the latent desire of reincarnation, ofcourse unknowingly. We believe one day we’ll go through the time-sparks again, get back the persons more closely who came in our life for a short span and spread millions of colour on our blank canvas, who lightened up our dark nights before going far, far away. We couldn’t go nearer to them, couldn’t make them our 'own’! We want to wait for them endlessly, want to reborn time and again and recollect all mos spent with them in each birth. Our heart, our mind and we, exist with the waiting for another birth!

And now you've a bunch of questions. What is meant by rebirth? Does this really mean 'new life' after our literal death? Tell me, do you really know in this 'one life', how many times you re-born? How many times you re-alive? How many times you become wounded, and then enlivened? Do you've any counting? Do we've?

A handful fog, again, na? And it is! The forgotten secret chamber,source of our forgotten secrets, source of the fog. Maybe someday, it's door will be opened in some way! We don't know that, just like we dunno when we pass the present moment, when it's door will be closed, someday, somehow, in some way!

Then we'll be in another phase of life, we'll be born-again!

Slowly, you too 'll agree with that what I’m telling here. We all are reincarnated, 'jaatismar' in our own time-span. Waiting for the time to get back old days, old ones, we cross the doorways one after one--- we never know about it! Sometimes the time makes a circle there, but those misty mos go out of reach. Those flickering bubbles fly away from us and just get disappeared a few steps before; and the secret chamber is closed!

Then it transforms into a smoky illusion--
All that remains an endless wait to come across them again, and to find the path we’ve lost, the path which is erased from our map, always!

P.C.:- Arabinda Chattaraj